Trust: The Overlooked Leadership Skill That Unlocks Everything Else
- Annika Cortellini
- Apr 16
- 5 min read
If leadership were a house, trust would be the foundation. Without it, everything else—communication, delegation, influence, decision-making—starts to wobble.
In hundreds of coaching conversations with leaders, one insight keeps surfacing: trust isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s not a byproduct of good leadership—it is good leadership. When trust is present, teams move faster, feedback flows, and resistance softens. When it’s missing, even the most well-intentioned strategies hit a wall.
In this post, I want to explore what trust really is, why it's often misunderstood or overlooked, and—most importantly—how to build it as a skill every leader can practice, strengthen, and master.
What Is Trust—Really?
When I ask clients, “How strong is the trust with this person or team?” I often hear things like:
“The trust is good—we’ve worked together for years.”
→ Trust = Length of relationship
“They trust me; I’ve been in this field for 20 years.”
→ Trust = Expertise
“My door’s always open. They know they can come to me.”
→ Trust = Availability
“I don’t micromanage—I trust them to do their job.”
→ Trust = Autonomy
All of these are valid aspects of trust—but none are the full picture. Why?
Because trust isn’t a fixed asset. It’s not something you earn once and keep forever. It’s dynamic. It evolves as people change, as situations shift, and as new pressures arise. What makes me trust you today might not be what I need from you tomorrow.
One leader I worked with had led the same team for over 10 years. He was confident trust was strong—until a reorg happened, and half the team suddenly stopped speaking up in meetings. He realized that working together for a long time had built familiarity, but not the kind of trust needed to navigate uncertainty. He had to go back and re-establish trust in a whole new context.
To lead effectively, you need to keep re-establishing trust—checking in, recalibrating, and staying aligned.
What Trust Is (and What It’s Not)
Let’s ground the conversation with a definition:
Trust: A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
In a leadership context, it’s the confidence that someone will do what they say, act with integrity, and show up consistently—even when no one’s watching.
Depending on the context, trust can take different forms:
Interpersonal trust – I believe you will act in a way that supports, respects, or at least doesn’t harm me.
Organizational trust – I believe this system is fair, competent, and transparent.
Psychological trust – I feel safe being vulnerable around you.
Technical trust – I trust that this tool/process/tech will work reliably.
It’s complex. Trust is shaped by expectations, integrity, safety, belief, truth, honesty—and individual needs. What builds trust for one person might not work for another.
Importantly: trust is not the absence of micromanagement, or simply being nice. It’s not how long someone has been around, seniority, or expertise. Those might contribute—but they’re not trust itself.
Think of trust like fitness. Just because you were in shape once doesn't mean you stay in shape. It takes consistent, conscious effort.
Why Trust Gets Overlooked (and Why That’s Dangerous)
Many leaders assume trust is already there. “We’ve worked together for years.” “They haven’t complained.” “We’re all professionals here.” But time together doesn’t automatically equal trust.
What I see in coaching is that assumed trust can create blind spots. When leaders overestimate how trusted they are, they misread silence as alignment, compliance as commitment, and politeness as respect.
Without trust:
Feedback gets filtered.
Decisions get delayed.
Delegation turns into dropped balls.
Influence hits resistance.
And yet, we rarely stop to ask:
“How would I know if trust was broken or missing? What would it look like?”
How to Build Trust (and Rebuild It When Needed)
The good news? Trust is simpler to build than we think—and it starts with how we make people feel.
If you read my previous blog post on influence—thank you! 😊 You might recognise what’s coming next. And yes, I’m repeating it—because it works.
This practical approach has helped so many of my coaching clients, whether they’re navigating difficult conversations, building new teams, or leading through change. These simple steps go a long way in creating the kind of trust that’s felt, not just assumed.
When people feel heard, seen, understood, and considered, trust naturally starts to form.
The approach is simple. Mastering it takes practice. One common challenge I hear in coaching is how hard it can be to stay in inquiry mode—to ask questions rather than immediately offering opinions or solutions. It’s a subtle shift, but it changes everything. Listening first, even when it feels counterintuitive, builds trust faster and deeper.
That’s the thing about trust—it requires intention. And like any leadership skill, it strengthens with practice.
Here’s a practical approach my clients have found helpful:
1. Start with the Right Mindset
Building trust starts with curiosity. Assume you don’t have the full picture.
Seek to understand before being understood.
Ask yourself: What might I not be seeing? What matters to them right now?
Be open to feedback—even if it’s uncomfortable.
2. Use Active Listening as Your Superpower
Ask open-ended questions (what, when, how, where, when. Not yes/no answer): What’s on your mind? What’s challenging right now?
Reflect back what you hear:
“So what I’m hearing is that your main concern is…”“If I understand correctly, you’re feeling pressure around…”
Even when you disagree, this step lowers defensiveness and builds connection.
3. Look for the Shift
When trust starts to form, something often changes in the room. You might notice:
Their voice softens
They lean in or uncross their arms
Eye contact increases
The tone becomes lighter or warmer
That shift? It’s not just body language—it’s emotional permission. It means: You get me. I can relax now.
One manager shared a story of a difficult performance conversation. At first, the employee was guarded and defensive. But once the manager reflected back what she heard—without rushing to solve—the employee’s posture softened. “It felt like she finally saw me,” the employee later said. That simple moment of being understood opened the door to an honest and productive conversation.
4. Make Trust a Gateway, Not a Goal
Once trust is present, everything else becomes easier:
Communication is clearer
Negotiation is more collaborative
Feedback is received, not rejected
Delegation becomes development, not just offloading
5. Be Honest, Open, and Consistent
Finally, build a culture of safety by modeling what you want to see:
Admit when you’re wrong
Share your intent
Follow through on what you say
People don’t trust perfection. They trust consistency, vulnerability, and integrity.
So, Why Does Trust Matter This Much?
Because without trust, even the best strategies stall. What I hear again and again from leaders is this:
“I know what to do—but I’m getting resistance.”“I’ve tried giving feedback, but it’s not landing.”“I delegate, but they don’t take ownership.”
In nearly every case, the root issue is a lack of trust—from others or within ourselves. Once that’s addressed, momentum returns.
If leadership is influence, trust is the gateway. Without it, you're not leading—you're just pushing.
A Question to Take With You
This week, ask yourself:
“What have I done recently to strengthen trust with my team or colleagues?”
If the answer isn’t clear, it’s a sign to slow down, tune in, and reconnect.
Ready to Lead with Trust at the Core?
Join our next leadership workshop, where we focus on how to build and sustain trust in real conversations, real challenges, and real relationships. You'll get hands-on practice, tailored coaching, and tools you can use immediately to become the kind of leader people naturally want to follow.
Because when trust is there—everything flows.
